When a couple find themselves in constant conflict then life can feel pretty miserable. All too often couples leave it until very late in the day to seek help, and some are put off by the unhelpful portrayal of couples counselling which has been misrepresented in Hollywood films! Many couples I have worked with have expressed regret that they didn’t seek me out sooner.
When professionally facilitated then couples counselling is highly effective. If both parties come with a willingness to engage in the process then much progress can be made. Being a couples’ therapist requires specialist training and skills to remain impartial. I ask couples to pause for a while and stop playing the ‘blame game’ in order to look at the relationship with new eyes with an unbiased and objective other. I encourage my clients to express themselves openly and honestly and support them to find different ways to communicate their desires and disappointments. This may mean for some couples they need a little ‘coaching’ to learn how to speak to each other in a more supportive way and to develop empathy. For that reason, my style of counselling may be more directive than with other counsellors. I find many couples do not need long term therapy. If conflict is impacting on the couple’s intimate relationship, then as a qualified and experienced sex therapist I can help with that too – and some couples go on to do an optional short course of sex therapy.